“Visit grandpa’s farm,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said. But now you have to figure out how to get the new puppy out of grandpa’s old duck pond as the kids sob uncontrollably, as if there’s some chance you’re not going to get the dog out of the water in time.
Luckily, you have the inspiration of your Coast Guard Dolphin T-shirt to propel you. That and your cousin was super into ziplining way back when. So, you wrap your legs around the handholds and zip across the surface, inverted. You reach down and snag the scared pupper with outstretched fingers as you fly past at a blinding 10 miles per hour.
That’s a save that would make any Coastie proud, but next time, maybe keep the doggo on a leash, friend.
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